Annals of the Lily Maid
by starcompass
Summary: Gilbert's version of his and Anne's love story in the books.
1. Gaze

ANNALS OF THE LILY MAID  
Chapter 1: Gaze  
By aircompass  
  
R+R Please?  
  
DISCLAIMER: Many thanks to LM Montgomery.  
I wrote this story, but she owns everything else.  
  
I remember seeing her for the first time.  
It was an awkward stage, being thirteen years old and struggling to   
be a man for my father, but still very much a child. I was immature   
to begin with, and fully equipped with raging teenage hormones and   
horror for responsibitlity beyond my years.  
She sat across the aisle, a tender eleven years, overwhelmed by  
the luck of finding a home with people who would love her. As it   
would turn out, we had a lot in common.   
Growing up before your years was rather terrible thing, but it   
was something we both had to deal with considering the circumstances  
fate had sent for us. But of course, I had not known that at the   
time. All I was told was that the new girl would prove to be stiff  
competition, and her name was Anne Shirley.  
  
She sat, wholly absorbed in doing her sums, but every so often   
pausing to whisper to Diana Barry. They would giggle and resume their  
arithmetic.  
  
Anne Shirley seemed a pale fragile thing. But for all the warmth she  
held in the mass of red hair braided down her back, I believed that  
Anne was much, much more. Her eyes spoke of whispered fancies and   
fantastic dreams. Of course, at the time, all I had seen were the   
extraordinary eyes that I had never encountered before in my life,  
that I was sure I would never meet again. Unless they were hers.  
They were large and subdued silver-green, very much like pale  
green stars.   
  
She was...cute, in actuality. I decided that she was of acquired  
taste, but very cute, nonetheless. Very much ignoring him, indeed.  
She wouldn't look at him and no other girl had ever pointedly   
ignored me and all my ploys to gain her attention. I never   
actually had to employ a way to catch that attention, because no   
girl had been able to resist my charms. Not that I had actually  
wanted the attention of anyone at school. At least, not until this   
new girl. Some girls were actually very nice, Diana, Jane Andrews   
or Katie Boulter were generally sweet girls. They wouldn't throw   
themselves, or fawn over me and the other boys in an absolute show   
of foolishness. But some others, Josie Pye or Julia Bell made me   
cringe repeatedly. Who on earth had started the "TAKE NOTICE" signs   
anyway?  
  
Ugh, I think as I am reminded of it. Josie specifically, would stare  
attempting to look beguiling as it would seem, and bat her lashes.   
She only made me nauseous. I hated being stared at, and I hated   
especially for Josie to stare. Hadn't the Pyes taught their offspring  
that it's bad manners to stare?  
  
But then, a little voice piped up. You wouldn't mind very much if   
those bright inquisitive stars would look at you... it taunted.  
Indeed, there was no protest to be made. If I could just find a way   
to catch her eye...  
  
EUREKA! Attempts at diversion earned me a look of disapproval.  
I had pinned Ruby Gillis' hair to the seat and winked at Anne  
hoping she'd share in the mischief. But, I had not thought of   
teasing her...  
Pull a long red braid...  
CARROTS!!! CARROTS!!!...  
And CRAAAAACK!!!! We have contact...  
  
Her eyes had flashed a furious green briefly, then ebbed into rather  
wounded grey clouds. I had not felt so evil in my whole life.  
At least, until Mr. Philips called her attention. I felt downright  
wormy and I had to do something...  
"I-It was my fault, sir. I teased her." I declared. I felt the need  
to be severely punished for destroying my own chance and being  
incredibly insensitive...not that I had thought so, but that's what  
she seemed to think...  
  
After school, I waited for her outside. I worried as soon as she   
walked out the door onto the porch. Her head was held high and she   
marched stiffly and briskly, attempting to get away from  
me as soon as possible. I could tell.  
  
Dearest Lord, I prayed. Let my skull stay strong for another slate  
if it isn't in your plan to forgive me...  
I wanted nothing better than to be friends with Anne Shirley. She  
had proven herself a worthy opponent, and I was looking forward to  
her company. She seemed quite interesting.  
Of course, that was if she'd forgive me.  
  
"I'm awful sorry I made fun of your hair, Anne. Honest I am. Don't  
be mad for keeps now..." I held my breath a little.   
She would not even grace me with a glance.  
  
At least she dropped the slate-smashing, skull-breaking method, I  
thought in rather bitter humor. Extremely troubled, I made way for  
her to walk away. A sinking feeling sat at the pit of my stomach.   
But, being the lad I was turning into, I kept a mask of serenity  
and nonchalance.   
----------  
Charlie Sloane watched the short exchange. He had, himself, been  
rather enamored with Anne Shirley and was glad there was obvious  
dislike for Gilbert Blythe behind her. Not that he hated Gil, they  
were friends. It was just that he had always felt rather small beside   
the Blythe boy.   
  
He was the one who always got the attention. It was obvious that he   
had certainly inherited a massive amount of physical blessedness. The  
combination of his hazel eyes, dark hair and extremely infectious  
personality won him serious points with the girls. Gilbert was an   
extremely kind person as well. Nobody had ever seemed to dislike him.   
He was, besides being handsome and kind, reliable, responsible and intelligent. Well, all liked him except Anne.   
  
And this seemed to Charlie, a small victory that he would be   
able to cherish. After all, at least Anne Shirley conversed with him   
every so often.  
  
"You shouldn't have done that, Gil." Charlie told his friend   
reproachfully. "You hurt her feelings. She's a bit sensitive about  
her hair you know..."   
----------  
I nearly smacked Charlie Sloane. Did he think I was stupid? Obviously  
her hair was an intense subject, and it was clear I had hurt her  
feelings. I knew that. Anne Shirley wasn't like the other girls,  
she seemed more fragile, yet stronger at the same time. But to admit  
this, to Charlie Sloane? I would rather eat a fly.  
  
"Naw...since when did you care Charlie? Do you LIKE her?" I teased,  
proud of the brilliant solution I had come up with. Play like I  
didn't care at all.  
  
"She's nice, Gil! And she isn't like a lot of people..."   
DUH, Charlie. If she was, the slate she broke on my head would still  
be okay. And so would my skull. And my guilt. I said nothing, and   
raised an eyebrow.   
"Oh alright. But did you have to use her hair?" he reprimanded.  
  
"Maybe Carrots WAS too much..." I decided. Charlie nodded, as if he  
was glad I saw the light through his 'goggle-eyes'. He turned away,  
and ran down the schoolhouse steps. My face broke out into a grin.  
"You're right Charlie!" I called.   
"I should've gone with the freckles instead!!"  
  
END :) 


	2. Also Aside Story Chapter 1

ANNALS OF THE LILY MAID  
Side-story 1: Bittersweet  
by aircompass  
  
I realized that I simply could not include this story as part of the annals itself.   
The storyline of the movie is entirely too difficult to fit into the storyline of   
the books. Especially since, in the books, Gilbert never got engaged to Christine   
in the first place, right? :) R+R please?  
  
DISCLAIMER: Many thanks to LM Montgomery and Kevin Sullivan Films.   
I wrote this story, but everything else belongs to them.   
  
I thought it would be easy.  
After all, if I left home, I would have left everything that reminded   
me of my grievance. With the respectable excuse of studies behind me,   
there would not be much gossip left to be bothered with. I figured at  
school, I'd be too busy thinking about science and medicine, I'd have  
time for nothing else.  
I thought maybe I'd forget, little by little. Maybe I'd start to  
realize that she was right. Maybe, there really was nothing more to  
the humanity in my heart, than extreme loneliness and unconditional   
love for a dear friend. Maybe she was never ever meant to be with me,   
but to belong to someone who wrote high-faluting mumbo-jumbo in praise   
of her. To flourish beyond all others and make the world fall completely   
in love with her. While I would stand completely in awe and watch them   
crumble the same way I did for her. And I would wonder sometimes, how   
God could present such a gift then leave her on a shelf I would  
never reach, to admire her but never actually touch her.  
I had learned, at an early age to bury my feelings far, far beneath  
the epidermis. My life was a bit of a farce, being that I kept myself  
beneath a carefully applied mask. I keep my love and almost every   
emotion inside as well. I reveal all when I they are too overwhelming  
or I am completely certain to be understood. Yet this has failed me on  
occasion, and I have suffered the consequences.   
I've always encountered people looking for perfection and at one time  
or another, I find I seek it as well, in myself. But I am completely, totally  
and vulnerably full of imperfections. Hey, I live on the male side of the  
species. Women, all women could certainly tell me what was wrong with  
me. And Anne seemed to be one of the few who could tell me so to my  
face.   
Anne Shirley was infuriatingly flawed, yet in my eyes, no one could  
be more perfect. She had me the moment she broke my slate over my  
head, but I had known it for certain the day of Matthew Cuthbert's   
funeral. My person had never been seized by such a longing to alleviate  
and destroy all the evil that could hurt her.  
And I waited. It was clear she didn't want to hear of romance from me.  
She needed a chum, I needed her for much more than that. But a chum  
is what she wanted, so I chum I would be. But she refused me when I  
forced myself to tell her, and so I came to school, hoping against hope  
to forget her. I almost did.  
  
Her name was Christine Stuart.  
She was very kind, very sweet and quite lovely to look at. I found   
myself believing sincerely that I was in love with her and Anne, who I   
had loved for years, was nothing but a chum and mere infatuation. After   
all, Christine was a fine girl. She seemed to care for me genuinely, and   
I in turn found myself caring for her. She was not at all hard to like.   
Her family wasn't difficult to get along with either.   
I clung to her like a child to a security blanket.   
Christine made me think of other things. I concentrated on school and   
worked hard to achieve my goals. Christine came from a prominent family   
of doctors. Her father was one, and her brother(my friend, Andrew) was   
studying to be one. I would often find myself welcomed into her home and   
there was nothing to stop me from believing that I loved her and could   
marry her. So I asked her and for awhile, everything seemed perfect.  
  
"So how long will you be gone?" Christine asked reproachfully, her face   
rather elongated by her expression.  
"Not very long, Chris." I laughed, and affectionately brushed hair from her   
forehead. Her expression remained troubled though somewhat comforted. "Just   
a week..."  
"A lot can happen in a week, Gilbert. I fell for you in the span of a week,   
you could fall in love just as easily." I shook my head. At the time, I   
chuckled, being humored by her insecurities. "I knew Father would do   
something like this! What if you find someone else?"  
"Don't be silly. You're the one I'm marrying." she smiled, fell into my arms   
and kissed me. No, it was not an uncomfortable position to be in. I had   
accepted the fact sometime before that something was always missing with   
Christine. I would kiss her and hold her close, but it never felt EUPHORIC.   
Christine made me smile...but happy? At the time, I thought it was the same   
thing. Our lips would meet, our bodies would touch and it felt ordinary. I   
didn't think there was anything beyond that.  
  
So I left the next day, in the morning.   
I had received a letter from Miss Stacey some days before leaving, proudly   
narrating the doings of Anne Shirley. She seemed well, and enclosed was an   
article detailing Anne's brilliance.  
I had shared the article with Christine. All she knew about Anne was that   
we were great schoolchums. She saw nothing to be a cause of jealousy and   
discarded Anne from her mind. They had never met but she had heard of Anne,   
I had talked about her a great deal. But, seeing Anne was far from my thoughts,   
she decided it was nothing. I had a job, a duty to perform at the conference   
for my would-be father-in-law, and I was determined to do it well. I admired   
her father greatly and wanted him to be proud. He rather served as a   
mentor...and I dearly needed him to be impressed. Not for his daughter.   
For myself.  
  
Three days later, it was finally over.   
The convention was great. I thought it would be hellishly dull. It was   
actually quite interesting but the real action happened on my last day. The   
last day in Kingsport was one I had to myself, so I decided to go about my   
business. I went around the town, picking up a gift here and there for the  
people I would be coming home to.  
Finally, I started back to the place taking the long, beautiful way back  
to relax myself before going home.   
And there she was.  
She was crouched down to pick up something she had dropped. It was something  
so normal, so human and yet I felt myself drawn to her all over again. It was   
not that I realized I still loved her. I DID, but that came later on. I suppose   
it was the idea that I was seeing her and I was happy. But I hadn't forgotten   
Christine, but before I could stop myself...  
"Anne Shirley?! What in heck are you doing here?!?!" she looked up, and I found  
myself wishing I had seen her more often in the past year. Her hair was up and  
pulled away from her face, her cheeks rosy. She was the picture of youth as she  
broke into a grin.   
"Gil?" she said delightedly. "You're the very last person I'd expect to see on  
a day like this!!!" I was smiling from ear to ear, but felt a queer throb in  
my heart as I clasped her to me in a hug. I heard the beginnings of a shower  
and let go of her.  
"Uhm..." I spotted a gazebo not very far away. It was as if the entire universe   
conspired to make this moment, this memory of my life impossibly unforgettable.  
"Come on..." And we ran to the gazebo. "The Royal Academy of Physicians is   
convening here this weekend, and I'm here as a delegate..." I began.  
"You must be proud of yourself." she replied warmly. I grinned.  
"Not as proud as I was of you when I read that clipping Miss Stacey sent me  
about the success of your play..."   
"That's sweet of you Gil." she paused and looked up at me. "It's so good to see   
you..." I was VERY glad to hear that. I was happy to see her too.  
"Oh," I said nonchalantly. "I was actually hoping we'd run into each other. I  
wasn't sure whether you'd be happy to see me or not, so I --" I have this habit  
of manipulating my words so that I'd get the person I'm talking to to tell me  
what they really feel.  
"Happy?!" Looks like it works. Hey, I'm not complaining. It's handy at times  
like these. "I can't begin to express my happiness! Let me look at you..."   
"Ah yes, do I look like a young medical student now?" I teased.  
"Not a bit. You can't fool me! You're still the same incorrigible Gil... Tell  
me all the Avonlea news. Have you been back?"  
"Uh..." No time like the present. Somehow, I felt that if I didn't tell her,  
I wouldn't be able to bring myself to tell her. In fear of forgetting Christine  
altogether, or falling in love with her all over again. But of course, I had  
no idea this was the cause of my churning stomach. "No. I've been spending most  
of my time at Halifax. Dr. Stuart's a very prominent surgeon. It was he who  
arranged for me to attend as his delegate...you see, Christine and I are   
engaged. It's set for next summer." Anne paled and was silent for a moment.  
"I'm so happy for you Gil..." she said softly. My heart squeezed itself and my   
blood didn't just run cold, it dried up. I needed to somehow, make her see what  
was going on, I desperately needed her to be the person she was at the bridge,  
before I made the decision to tell her. Anne was still my first love.  
"I guess that's why I wanted to see you so much -- to apologize for being such a fool   
last summer." Anne shook her head, in the manner she did when she was thinking of  
what to say. "No, I think I understand now what you meant. I meant what I said, too.   
I won't ever forget you."  
To emphasize my point, I caressed her cheek. It took me back to the day she had   
thanked me for the Avonlea school. She had blushed, my heart had swelled and I  
burned with a feirce affection watching her. She stood up.   
"You turned out as I always imagined you would. Doesn't it seem like yesterday we off to  
Queens and vying for those scholarships?" she said, changing the subject. I hadn't   
listened to her the last time she had done this, the day I had asked her to marry me.   
I had learned my lesson. She didn't want to think about it, and frankly, I didn't either.  
But, if she thought she could steer this conversation, she was wrong. As you can see,  
this is another one of my striking imperfections.  
"I suppose you've kept up your writing." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.  
"Not really. I've been busy, and, well, publishers aren't interested in those kinds of   
stories." Where did she grow this cynicism? I mean, I told her to tone down, and not  
fly so high up. Did I completely undo her? I certainly hoped not. I was being frank at  
the time. There had to be some way to remedy this block of hers.  
"Well, I wouldn't give up all together. You know, I always thought you should write   
about Avonlea. Change the name, of course, or Rachel Lynde would think she was the   
heroine." That's right, Blythe. Nice and easy. Real smooth. She laughed gaily.  
"Avonlea is the dearest place in the world. But I don't think it's an interesting enough   
setting for a story." This again? I thought she'd have gotten over this thinking by now.  
"Oh, I intend to take Christine back to the Island with me and set up my practice  
there. Dr. Stuart has a lot of pull in Halifax and would like us to live there, but I don't   
want any hand-outs. Besides, any other place just wouldn't seem like home to me."   
It's the truth. Kingsport and other places seemed too posh for me.  
"No, of course. The board of governors at the College just offered me a five-year   
contract." she replied lightly. I was impressed, but it wasn't as if I hadn't expected  
it. Oh, but I was so proud of my Anne-gi--- I mean, Anne. Where did that come from?  
"Well, that's wonderful. You certainly won your way into the hearts of this affluent,   
old town. You won't be lonely." She never would be. I was certain of that fact. Anne  
was sweet, and pretty and kind...and...forget it.  
"I'll survive." Anne said it almost reassuringly. She smiled sweetly as she said it. I  
felt my breath catch in my throat. And then, there it was. It had uncovered itself. The   
extraordinary madness of my otherwise sane life burst through the armor I had   
smothered it in. I had to get out of there. All of a sudden, everything I had ever loved  
about her, everything I had tried so hard to eradicate fell over me like rainwater.   
The realization overwhelmed me. I LOVED HER . I NEVER STOPPED. I NEVER  
WOULD. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. I had to get out of there while I could still  
dig myself out. If I didn't leave, I would successfully end up hurting Christine and Anne,  
and Anne would succeed in hurting me.   
She didn't love me, she never would love me in the way I wanted her to.  
"Well, I ought to go. The train leaves at 5:30." Good thing it was true. I couldn't have  
handled having to lie my way out.  
"Oh, no, really?" Yes, Anne, now stop looking so damn pretty. Oh yeah, her card.  
"Oh, I, was going to mail this, but a note just isn't the same." I handed her the  
card. I am very very proud of her. But I still can't have her, can I? Her eyes light up  
in excitement. Her fingers fumble excitedly.  
"Thanks, Gil." Before she can even open the envelope, I seize my moment. I want to  
love her, much more than I have wanted to love her before. I want her so much to  
know that...that she is absolutely beautiful and wonderful. I want to take her in my  
arms and grant myself the ultimate insanity plea by kissing her. I want to find the  
damn madness that only she could ever trigger. I want her to love me too. But, she  
is not mine to have. Her lips are not mine to kiss. My heart is ready to implode. But  
I take my moment, from the few I have with her and take her in my arms for a hug.  
"Goodbye, Anne." It hurts.  
"Goodbye, Gil." I pull away.  
"Don't forget me." I mean it. Because I sure as hell won't forget her.   
  
I went straight back to the hotel and packed everything. Then I took up my bags,  
then left Kingsport behind me. I came to the station early, picked my position and  
started studying for the exam waiting for me back at college. Then I hear her calling  
me. At first, I believe I'm hallucinating, then I see her outside the window. The train  
is fast pulling away. I run outside. I did choose the end car.  
"Gil! Thank you!" she screams, but her eyes are dancing, she's flushed from her run  
and she is absolutely beautiful. "Goodbye!"  
"Goodbye Anne!" I holler back. It seems so very final to me.  
  
END :)  
  
  



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